From the place where we are right
Flowers will never grow
In the spring.
The place where we are right
Is hard and trampled
Like a yard.
But doubts and loves
Dig up the world
Like a mole, a plow.
And a whisper will be heard in the place
Where the ruined
House once stood.
(from The Selected Poetry of Yehudi Amichai, translation by Chana Bloch and Stephen Mitchell, University of California Press, 1996,)
1. Practice gratitude. Today notice all the things in your experience that you can be grateful for. There are so many things we are not grateful for until we don’t have them. For example, can you breathe easily today? Appreciate that. Does your left elbow work? Notice it.
2. Offer experience. When you see, feel, hear, or taste something pleasurable today, offer it to the enlightened spiritual beings of all faiths. This allows us to experience pleasurable things while not becoming attached to the experience and it cultivates the habit of giving.
3. Be generous to yourself. Today, cut yourself some slack. Give yourself some space. Ease up on self-judgment. Take time and make effort to give yourself the same nurturing that you more easily give to others. This will result in a life with more ease, which is a support for well-being. It will also help cultivate the habit of generosity with others since you will feel how good it feels to be the recipient of kind, generous behavior.
4. When in conflict, escalate generosity. Today, when someone is irritating you, instead of escalating the conflict, try to see their conflicted behavior as a symptom of their suffering and escalate generosity. This is the practice of restraint and generosity. It develops your patience and will help others have the direct experience of kindness, which will gradually help them be less conflicted.
5. Celebrate the joys and virtues of others. The practice of empathetic joy is an antidote to jealousy and helps decrease the fear and suffering of a jealous mind. Others will feel pleased to be recognized and to share their successes and you will receive the experience of their joy. If you suffer from performance anxiety or a need to be recognized as right or ‘the best,’ this practice will help ease the suffering of these mind states.
6. Notice the strings attached to your generosity. Make offerings. Give things away, both material and imagined. Notice how you want something in return. In the moment of noticing, don’t judge, just see. In this way you begin to understand generosity and the lack of it. No need to be critical of yourself. If you see your actions without judgement, little by little they will change.
7. Accept what is offered. When people offer you something, whether it is a compliment or a new house, accept it graciously. Be present for the gift. Don’t worry about motivations other than your own. Fully formed generosity is also able to receive gifts and help from others.
8. Use mindfully. Today, remember all other beings and mind your consumption. Eat simply so others can eat. Recycle and reuse. Share. These small acts acknowledge that we are interconnected and that our actions have impact on others.
9. Accept the suffering of others with forbearance. There are many practices for this. If someone is angry, mean, or unkind, they are suffering. Accept this and do not return their unkindness with your own suffering. They have enough already. Offer your clarity if you can. Even if you simply make the wish that they be relieved of their suffering, you are helping them by not adding to their burden and you are helping train your own mind.
10. Offer forgiveness. The hope for a better past is always futile. When you forgive someone, you are not saying what they did was right or helpful, you are letting go of your own suffering around the issue and moving on. This benefits you and the other person, as well.
11. Stop stealing. When we kill, cheat, or lie, we are stealing. When we selfishly overuse shared resources, we are stealing, which is antithetical to generosity. Determine that today you will not steal. If you feel you were stealing, do your best to correct the matter as soon as possible and celebrate your new awareness. No need to feel guilty!
12. Help relieve the fears of others. Many people–even those who seem successful and proud–are filled with fear. Be generous with your attention, your approval, and your smiles.
13. Practice equanimity. It’s easy to be generous with people we like. Expand your generosity by extending it to those with whom you have difficult and indifferent relationships. All beings want to be happy. It’s the one thing we have in common. Let yourself have the luxury of extending generosity to strangers and to those who would call themselves your enemy. Feel yourself relax as you feel the barriers dissolve.
14. Water the seeds of the happiness of others. When people are unbalanced, they suffer. You can help by helping that person remember their inner resources, pleasant memories, and positive circumstances. Even their physiology will change as they dwell on the positive.
15. Support all faiths. Give time, money, and energy to support the practice of the authentic spiritual teachings in all traditions. If you cannot do intensive practice yourself, support those who do (monks, nuns and hermits or other committed lay folk). You and others will benefit from their presence in the world and the future will be more sane, safe, and happy as we all progress spiritually.
16. Offer your presence with no agenda. If someone is having difficulty or is sick or dying, offer to be present with their suffering. Let go of agendas. Just stay. Use your own mindfulness to see when your agendas arise and drop them. Even 5 minutes of genuine presence is a gift that can bring spacious relief.
17. Take care of yourself. Many people, some of whom you do not know about, depend on you. So, take good care of yourself. Show up. Give yourself a break. Accept support.
18. Remind yourself that things change. Everything is impermanent. Nothing lasts. The worst suffering and the greatest joys fade. Noticing this is the antidote to clinging.
19. Perform generous acts in secret. Do something generous and keep it a secret. This will help prevent pride and will help you develop the ability to give without wanting something in return.
20. Learn from yourself about generosity. As you practice generosity, you will see that sometimes, even when you want to be generous, you can’t. It’s hard work! The more you learn about this, the more you will be patient with others’ lack of generosity and the more you will appreciate their generosity
Right now there are Tibetan Buddhist monks in a temple in the Himalayas endlessly reciting mantras for the cessation of your suffering and for the flourishing of your happiness. Someone you haven’t met yet is already dreaming of adoring you. Someone is writing a book that you will read in the next two years that will change how you look at life. Nuns in the Alps are in endless vigil, praying for the Holy Spirit to alight the hearts of all of God’s children. A farmer is looking at his organic crops and whispering, “nourish them”. Someone wants to kiss you, to hold you, to make tea for you. Someone is willing to lend you money, wants to know what your favorite food is, and treat you to a movie. Someone in your orbit has something immensely valuable to give you — for free. Something is being invented this year that will change how your generation lives, communicates, heals and passes on. The next great song is being rehearsed. Thousands of people are in yoga classes right now intentionally sending light out from their heart chakras and wrapping it around the earth. Millions of children are assuming that everything is amazing and will always be that way. Someone is in profound pain, and a few months from now, they’ll be thriving like never before. From where they are, they just can’t see it . Someone has recently cracked open their joyous, genuine nature because they did the hard work of hauling years of oppression off of their psyche — this luminous juju is floating in the ether, and is accessible to you. Someone just this second wished for world peace, in earnest. Someone is dedicating their days to protecting your civil liberties and clean drinking water. Someone is regaining their sanity. Someone is coming back from the dead. Someone is genuinely forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. Someone is curing the incurable. You. Me. Some. One. Now.
Mary Standing Otter
Margaret had a question: “Why do you meet one-on-one with students?”
First of all, it’s totally optional; to participate in these meetings is a matter of personal choice and preference. I am happy to say that there is no charge for one-on-one meetings. Sometimes we call these meetings ‘interviews’—not like job interviews, but because in talking, we mix perspectives/views. We talk at the intersection of our views.
I meet with students one-on-one because my teacher did that and I found it enormously helpful. In the same way Lama Michael did, as I get to know a practitioner, we can get at the core of their understanding, mis-understand, habits and life in general.
In one-on-one meetings, we have no particular agenda, though after the first meeting, I will always and continuously direct the conversation back to dharma practice. I am not a therapist. Not a doctor. Not a shaman or a person looking for a new friend. I am a dharma teacher, so I’ll assume if you come to me, you are looking to get answers to your dharma questions or to see how to apply your practice to life’s many challenges and opportunities. I’ll assume you want to wake up, even if you have no idea where to start.
In public sessions, like our Monday night mediation and dialogue, you can also ask dharma questions. If we’ve met, I’ll tailor the answer to both your question and your situation a little bit, if I know something about you. But I’ll still spend most of the response time on ‘the middle’—the average person in that night’s group who might share your question. Others will also contribute their thoughts and experience, which is wonderful; in part because in that process you’ll gradually develop meaningful relationships with others in the community.
In one-on-one sessions the advice can be more specific to you. We can discuss concrete examples, based on your life at the moment and can explore specific uses of practice that will help with your most common habits and obstacles, while developing your strengths.
In a one-on-one meeting it’s possible that the ‘container’ feels more intimate—and therefore, for some, more safe. I can be more direct with questions and you can speak freely without having to direct energy towards the others in the room. I can ask more clarifying questions to be sure I have understood what it is you really want to know and do.
In one-on-one meetings, we can have a months’ long on-going discussion about key themes of your dharma interests and about your main practices. As your experience grows and your understanding develops, we can talk about more nuanced understandings and application of the dharma views, methods and activities.
We can also discuss how to work with your relationships in the community, with volunteering, with your vision and hopes for the community. And of course, we can talk freely about any challenges you might experience. When your sense of all those is clear, you can raise them skillfully in a more public setting, like sangha (community) meetings or our Monday night sits.
Some practice questions are quite person-specific—and general answers point in the right direction, but might not actually show you a meaningful path of application of your practice. You might not feel like raising certain questions in public, especially if you have trauma, or are new to the community. We try to make Dekeling an inclusive and safe place for all, but trusting that takes time. We want you to take all the time you need, and one-on-one meetings can be a good place to test your growing trust.
One-on-one meetings are a resource-intensive use of both the teacher’s and student’s time. But I find that people who learn to use them wisely often become community members who support the community in many ways. I think it’s worth it to invest in these meetings.
We do one-on-one meetings by Zoom and in person, socially distanced. Board members and assistant teachers are given first priority, but often need the least support. Those two volunteer groups can get one-on-one meetings on short notice and often. This helps them be resourced well enough to continue to offer work to the community. Access to the Lama is our way of appreciating their contributions to the community, since their work may take many hours from their life. People in urgent situations, even if they are new to the community, can also usually get a meeting. Generally, we do meetings at a time and place convenient to my schedule, but if someone is dying or in the hospital, or suddenly home-bound, I can and will travel. But everyone—even people who don’t come to Dekeling—are welcome to sign up for a meeting.
Meetings are scheduled for an hour, but we may finish early. No problem.
I always hope that students who participate in one-on-one meetings or any other of our free offerings will find a way to give back to the community. It takes a village to run even a small center like ours. There is always volunteering. Dana (offerings) are always useful to keep the lights on. Your meditation is always an offering to the whole world.
If you’d like a one-on-one meeting, this is the link to the calendar. If you set a meeting and can’t come for some reason, just let me know.
Happy practice. May beings benefit from your kind intentions.
Peter had the question, “What should I do to get the most benefit from retreat?”
It depends on the retreat, and why you are there.
The most precious retreats are those in which you simply take a practice you know and do it session after session. This deepens your relationship to the practice and creates the conditions for learning beyond the conceptual. On these retreats, set aside a small amount of time for exercise and meals and during those activities, keep your mind on the practice as much as you can. Practice before sunrise and add sessions after dark, as well. Adhere to a schedule.
In most all retreats, these things may help
How you balance your use of this advice depends on your level of practice experience and your habits and proclivities. It might be impacted by your physical needs and your general psychology, as well. Until you are familiar with your needs, and with all the ways you are prone to sabotaging a retreat, get help from your mentor on setting a schedule and choosing the format for your retreat activities.
The general guideline I use is to limit your activities on retreat to those that best cultivate the thing to which you most aspire. If you want to awaken, set the conditions in place to do that. Remember that doing is much more important than reading about doing or talking or thinking about doing. Direct experience is the jet fuel of practice.
Think of this: If you went on a weekend retreat to learn to chop wood, you might read a page or two about how to do it, and you might think about it a little, but you’d learn most about chopping wood by spending the weekend chopping wood.
For teachers, customer service people, counselors, chaplains, barbers—all those of you who work with a stream of people each day. Something to recite between to keep your mind on dharma.
Through the kindness of my teachers,
may I recognize the true nature of myself
and everyone who passes through this door.
Like an alchemistic potion turning metal into gold,
in this meeting, delightful or difficult,
may I find bliss without contagion,
completely undefiled,
and through the virtue of the dharma
and the truth of interconnection,
may goodness pervade each moment we share.
May I visit every realm, without preference,
if it benefits beings.
May I serve them humbly
and receive without hesitation
their perfect gifts,
even when disguised as conflict and complaint.
Through the power of the truth of phenomena
may any ailment of body or mind,
any obstacle or veil,
in myself, this person and anyone I meet
be removed completely
if it benefits beings.
May our connection be fruitful
for this and every life,
and may we all be free.
Releasing obstacles,
attachments, and worry,
I am present now and meet this person–
—a beloved companion on the path
with gratitude, peace and joy.
Have you ever wondered how they make those beautiful thangkas (Tibetan Buddhist scroll paintings)? They start with a drawing. Each drawing is done to very precise proportions on a predetermined grid called a ‘thigse’.
Here you can see some examples of these marvelous grids and designs.
The dates below are days that are not good days to put up new prayer flags.
February (2021):
March: 17, 29
April: 9, 16, 28
May: 9, 12, 14, 26
June: 20
July: 1, 16, 27
August: 12, 23,
September: 4, 7, 18
October: 1, 15, 27
November: 14, 26,
December: 10, 23
January (2022): 6, 18, 30
February: 1, 14
These days in the year 2021 are not the best days to raise prayer flags, according to the Tibetan calendar.
This article first appeared in the European Buddhist magazine. You’ll notice that the person who gave this teaching is Tibetan. Please take this cultural and educational perspective into account.
…I think it is important to remind ourselves about the importance of ethics. In many fundamental Texts, across all traditions, there is a clear emphasis on ethical values, and the importance of vows, to establish guidelines, to strengthen the mind and collect merits. Buddha Shakyamuni was a monk and started the establishment of the ordained Sangha. The purpose of ordination is to live and practice with less possibilities to engage in improper activities.
We are indeed in a very strange time of our civilization. At the same time, we can notice a widening of the field of spirituality, but also a degeneration of its depth. It has been predicted that Buddhism will last 5000 years from the time of its founder; and we are around its half.
Though clearly ethic & vows are of utmost importance throughout all traditions of Buddhism, this article is mostly about Tibetan Buddhism.
From the time Dharma entered the Land of Snow Mountains, it has undergone various periods of development and degeneration. But we can say that Buddhism has been wonderfully kept inside Tibet, with a strong tradition of memorization and oral transmission. The texts available today, basis of studies and practices, are descending in a straight line from Shakyamuni Buddha’s Teachings, either under His historical form, or His subsequent Manifestations. Ethics and moral behavior have also been challenged throughout the history, with many misunderstandings about what should be done and what should be avoided.
This has been one of the reasons that in the 14th century, a famous Lama known as Je-Tsong-Kha-pa, or Lobsang Drakpa, after having learned from Masters of the three existing schools, started a new one – Gelug.pa – with the goal of reviving the importance of Ethics and Knowledge. Ethic as the basis of all virtues; Knowledge to avoid wrong views, and to purely preserve the Buddha’s Teachings.
One source of confusion in the West nowadays is based on titles. Most people do not know what they cover and what they don’t and tend to take as their Root Guru people who do not have the required qualifications for that. So, let’s take a look at the main titles in Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism:
Geshe:
The Gelug.pa system starts based on a system of studies. A monk usually enters monastery around the age 7 to 10; he will learn for about 20 years, going through the 5 great topics: Par.Chin (Paramitas or Perfections), U.Ma (Madyamika or Middle Way), Dul.Wa (Vinaya or Code of Ethic), and Dzö (Abhidharma or Metaphysics). Then, he will pass an exam and become a Geshe (Doctor in Buddhist philosophy). He can go on for one or more years to the Gyu.Me or Gyu.Tö Tantric College to learn about Tantras.
This diploma of a Geshe is a “scholastic degree” i.e. it doesn’t imply any spiritual realization. Here, we should emphasize that there are four levels of Geshes. This fact is often unknown in the West and leads to certain mistakes. The first and second are very basic scholarship levels; they are mainly able to memorize, but do not go in depth in the understanding or in the debate. Almost all of these will get the Geshe title when reaching the end of the study program.
Nowadays, there are wishes from the Central Tibetan Administration that only the highest degree – Geshe Lharampa – could hold the title of Geshe. Because the level of “Doctor in Philosophy” can indeed only be compared with those who have succeeded in their studies through the Lharampa class and passed the final exams. This takes nearly 25 years of study. “Lharampa” Geshes have not just learned and memorized the Texts, but have gone more in depth in their understanding, with a special skill in logic. Yet, there is still a big gap between “understanding” and “realizing”. When in the West students hear the word “Geshe”, they tend to mix it up with “Lama”. A Geshe “knows”; a “Lama” has some spiritual realizations and/or experience. A Geshe can be Lama or not; a Lama can be Geshe or not.
Lama: (Sanskrit: Guru) is a Spiritual Guide. There is no school for “Lamas”. This title is obtained after having followed a very ethical life and showing signs of Wisdom. It is given by other Lamas, or by a large group of disciples. It is also given automatically to the reincarnation of Lamas. Let’s also point out the fact that in the Kagyu.pa Tradition, a person who has performed a certain amount of years in retreat (from 3 to 6) can get the title “Lama”. In the same way in which studies don’t automatically bring realizations, retreat doesn’t either. In that aspect, the title “Lama” is not always a warranty of realizations.
Rinpoche: “Very precious”. It is given mostly to reincarnated Lamas; but also, as an honorific title, to the Abbots of big monasteries (Khenpo Rinpoche) – which they keep also when retired from this function (Khensur Rinpoche).
Tulku: “Emanation Body”. This originally referred to highly realized beings – Buddhas or Bodhisattvas – taking rebirth for the sake of sentient beings. But nowadays, all reincarnated Lamas are called ‘Tulku’, on the basis of their past life as good practitioners.
As a conclusion about the titles, none of them is a guarantee in terms of “spiritual liability”. In Tibet, there was a lot more possibility to control the titles and anybody couldn’t just play the role of a Lama. Nowadays, with the gap between East and West, some lower Geshes pretend to guide spiritually without any realization and without a clue about Western life and problems; and some Western teachers claim to have this or that realization, holding the title of Lama for their own sake.
It is indeed the responsibility of each Dharma student to carefully check and counter-check the qualities of a teacher before considering him or her a reliable Spiritual Guide. To guide the disciple on the progressive path of the three types of practitioners, a spiritual master in the Mahayana path needs to possess 10 qualities:
Must be disciplined by the training in Ethics.
Appeased by the training in meditative absorption.
Pacified by the training in Wisdom.
Virtues are superior in virtues to the virtues of his disciples.
Possessing energy and enthusiasm for the accomplishment of the benefit of others.
Rich of the study of the scriptures.
Having a realization (manifest or conceptual) of Emptiness.
Able to teach and has skillful means.
Revealing the doctrine with Compassion.
Gives up discouragement while having to repeat the instruction constantly.CODE OF ETHICS
Pratimoksha Vows, or Vows of Individual Liberation:
All the advises given by Shakyamuni Buddha about Ethics are gathered in a Text called “Vinaya” (Skt.) or Dul.Wa (Tib.). We learn that there are different levels of engagement in the practice, a different depth on the Path to renunciation and dedication.
Genyen: This is a lay person who takes 5 vows: not to kill, not to lie, not to steal, no sexual misconduct, and no alcohol (or any intoxicant).
Rabjung and Rabjung.ma: This is the first step to engage into the monastic life. It is considered as the first and very important step to become monk/nun. There are 8 vows: not to kill, not to lie, not to steal, to preserve one’s chastity, no alcohol or intoxicants, changing of clothes (to wear the monk robes), changing of name (getting a new name), changing the mind (renouncing the lay life and livelihood).
Getsul and Getsul.ma: Formally called “novice”, even though the novitiate is clearly started from Rabjung. The novice has to take 36 vows that can be taken usually from the age of 13 or 14. In the same was as a fortification around castles, those extra vows are added to protect the “main vows” also called “defeat” (i.e. not to kill, not to lie, not to steal, chastity).
Gelong: and Gelong.ma (Bhiksu and Bhiksuni in Sanskrit). The fully ordained monk respects 253 vows and the fully ordained nun respects 364 vows. These vows cannot be taken before one is 21 years old. [Note that the lineage of the Gelongma ordination has been lost in Tibet, by the nuns. Nowadays, a woman who seeks full ordination must take it from another Buddhist tradition.]
Vows are fixed guidelines to channel the mind in the direction of pure conduct, source of all virtues. Some of them are based on the action performed, some others more on the motivation.
According to the Vinaya, we should not expose the full list of Getsul and Gelong vows to people not ready for ordination. Nevertheless, for a better understanding of monkhood we can take out and explain some of the major vows.
The four defeats (common to Rabjung/ma, Getsul/ma and Gelong/ma) which, if broken, destroy the ordination (other vows can be purified during a special ceremony held each 14 days in a monastery, called “Sojong”):
* Not to kill: this is broken by killing a human being; but a branch vow also includes other sentient beings.
* Not to lie: this defeat is completed by claiming to have a spiritual Realization that one doesn’t have. A branch vow includes “telling voluntarily something which is not true”.
* Not to steal: robbery is observed when taking a significant object from someone without their permission.
* Chastity: means not to penetrate any of the “three doors” (i.e. vagina, mouth, anus) of any being.
After those four defeats we usually add the vow of not taking alcohol and intoxicants, as under their influence we could break any or all the four defeats.
It is useful to know about those vows, so that a disciple who would be approached by an ordained teacher (monk, Geshe, …) in a way which contradict the vows, should be able to refuse categorically without any shame. Shame is for those who abuse their status as a teacher to obtain pleasure from those who regard them as a Guru.
Bodhisattva Vows
While the monks’/nuns’ vows are common to both the Theravada and Mahayana Path, another set of vows concerns only the practitioners who engage in the Mahayana Path. It contains 18 root vows and 36 secondary ones. Among the root vows, we can bring out that one should not: * not forgive, especially if someone has presented excuses, * praise oneself and depreciate the others, * teach Emptiness to those who are not ready, * claim to have realizations that one doesn’t have (specially about Emptiness), * take for oneself means dedicated for the Three Jewels, * depreciate the value of those following the Theravada, * abandon Bodhicitta (exclude even a single being from our Bodhicitta).
Vajrayana Vows
These vows are taken by Vajrayana practitioners while they take an Initiation of the fourth Tantric class. They should not be displayed to those who do not have taken them. Such practitioners have to take the Bodhisattva vows too. Nevertheless, we could point out that one of them is specifically to not expose Tantric content to those not having taken the required Initiation.
It is important to understand what Tantra/Vajrayana is, and what it is not, as this term is used and misused in the West. Vajrayana is a specific Path within Mahayana Buddhism which uses our most subtle energies for Spiritual achievements. That way, it also uses all our emotions (which are energies), transforming them into the Path instead of spending years to pacify them.
This Path is known as the “short-cut to Enlightenment”; its methods are powerful and very skillful. Nevertheless, it is not suitable for all practitioners, and only highly qualified Masters are able to decide who enters those practices and who should not. Consequently, these Masters are able to guide their disciples through the methods.
When we wish to climb a difficult mountain, we wouldn’t think to do it without an experienced guide; in the same way, one should not even for a second think to walk the Tantric Path without a seriously qualified Spiritual Guide.
Tantra is mainly based on very precise visualizations which the practitioner should hold firmly and identify with. Those techniques require to have mastered “Shine”, Mental Quietness, and should be grounded on the motivation of Bodhicitta, the Ultimate Compassion. As well, a correct and firm understanding of Emptiness is needed. So, we can see that not all people pretending to practice Tantra are really Yogis. Also, we can hear a lot about sexual practices within the Vajrayana, but mainly in the West. Because Tantrayana is not about sexual practice at all. It is about the union of Method and Wisdom, symbolized by a male and a female deity sitting together. It would be deeply mistaken to consider that the core of the Tantric practice is based on sexual activity. There are some methods involving the physical aspect, but it is related with highest level Yogis, having realized Emptiness and Bodhicitta, and with a consort possessing the same level of realization.
In the Vajrayana, the place of the Guru, the Spiritual Guide, is fundamental. To find a root-Guru, establish the Master-to-Disciple relationship, and follow faithfully the advice of our root-Lama is a source of great merits and swift realizations. Our Guru is seen as Enlightened, and his actions as pure. Followers do benefit from advices, guidance, adapted to their level and needs.
Aside of this, some Masters have shown actions and behavior we could qualify as against the usual norms of ethics. Yet, in the past such Lamas have been respected and venerated, as what they did was seen as skillful means, ways to bring more people into the Dharma Path. These Masters had enough Wisdom and Realization to transcend concepts without being caught by any of them. They were not acting out of attachment or their own ego; they were acting solely for the sake of others. But of course, from the outside, it’s very difficult to see what someone’s real motivation is, or to evaluate their level of Wisdom. Clearly, some of the Masters of the past, such as Marpa, would today be subject to court processes and would end up in prison for how they acted towards their disciples (for example Milarepa). More contemporarily, we could mention Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche.
So here we have the ingredients for a profound and powerful Path to Enlightenment … and at the same time the risk for major downfalls and abuse. The question I guess is how to find the first and avoid the latter?
The answer can be already found within the teachings. There is a great deal of explanation regarding the qualities a Teacher should have, the importance of the lineage behind, and the respect of ethical values.In countries where Buddhism has been present for a long time, abuse cases are very limited because people are careful, and information about each Teachers, authentic or “wannabe”, is circulating. Thus, one cannot really establish a system of abuse. In the West, because it is fairly new and probably also for some other reasons, we encountered quite some problems in these last years. People don’t know what they are allowed to talk about, or not; what is normal between master and disciple, or not; how one can react in front of a strange or shocking situation, etc. But all is explained if you do search well or ask questions on specialized forums.
We are in a society of de-responsibilization, where individuals tend to always place themselves in the role of a victim and might hire lawyers to act on their behalf when the first problem occurs. As Buddhists we must and do understand the law of causality, which places us back at the center of what is happening to us.
I know, some people, even Buddhists, don’t like this point of view, because it can easily be twisted to excuse the actions of real abusers behind a simple: “it’s your karma”. There is a middle way to be found between understanding our responsibility from a karmic point of view and reacting conventionally, which can include hiring a lawyer if needed. Through the whole process of analyzing and reacting to any situation, we need to keep in mind the law of causality, based on our motivation.
With that in mind, instead of always throwing all the blame on the fake gurus, I would like to point out also the responsibility of the “fake disciples”. Indeed, as a disciple, one should read well the basic texts, question, analyze, and use his/her good sense. Of course, some people are skillful in hiding, lying, manipulating, but we shouldn’t also try to hide our own laziness and lack of investigation behind such assertion. Later on, to claim “I was abused” shows at least that we might have been quite naïve, and light headed. And sometimes there are also other motivations, ego reactions and revenge. Some disciples for example, when their mistakes are pointed out, with the right motivation to help them improving their mind, can leave their Teacher, slam the door and talk badly about the Guru.Unfortunately, some teachers have been or are manipulating others to obtain their favors, sexually, financially, etc. And some newbies are falling for their strategies, even if we can point out the mistakes of these new members too. Such wrong practices need to be exposed. Yet, as for every aspect of our life, we need to check carefully our motivation and how we will proceed, remembering once again that all our thoughts, words, and actions do have karmic consequences.
I particularly like the approach of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, when His Holiness recommends to simply move away from any insidious teacher, not falling into the mistake of slandering against him (or her). Of course, asked about the reasons, one can say what s/he has been the subject of, factually, as objectively as possible, avoiding as well as possible any negative emotions, so as not to create negative seeds for oneself. Especially as negative karma in the field of spirituality can have consequences over several incarnations.To conclude, remaining on the topic of Ethics: if a so-called practitioner of Dharma would enter in any sexual conduct with you, especially if that person is ordained, then it would be a serious misdeed! The great Masters have a very controlled mind, remaining in special equipoise state, and do not need any pleasure of the senses. No Geshe, Lama, Tulku, Rinpoche or whoever shall use his title or position to force or mislead anyone into sexual activities based on “I-don’t-know-what” Tantric practice … If this happens, you have the right to speak out about it, and to report this behavior to higher instances in Buddhism. But we should not fall into the big mistake of false accusations in order to draw attention or to take revenge against anyone.
At last, we can conclude by saying once more that Ethics is the basis of all accumulation of merits.
Shenpen Rinpoche, in European Buddhist magazine